Simple character trait or sign of a deeper malaise? A psychologist deciphers what this behavior of the psyche reveals.
Some people never seem to stop talking. In a dinner with friends, at the office or even in public places, their flow of words takes up all the space. If conversing is essential to social life, knowing how to appreciate silence with others is valuable on a relational level. This ability to let a conversation breathe demonstrates authentic listening and a peaceful presence. Conversely, people who are intolerant of any blankness may, unwittingly, weaken their interpersonal relationships. Their interlocutors end up feeling ignored, unable to say a word, even emotionally exhausted. But what does this behavior really mean on a psychological level?
Logorrhea, the need to talk excessively and continuously, can sometimes be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder. “In bipolar disorder, in the manic phase, there can be much more logorrhea”reminds us Emma Pisarz, psychologist. “In histrionic people (personality disorder characterized by an excessive need to attract attention and exaggerated emotionality, editor’s note), there can be very self-centered logorrhea.” However, these situations remain specific and are generally accompanied by other symptoms. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can also cause difficulty regulating one’s speech, with a tendency to interrupt others or speak impulsively. In these specific cases, consulting a healthcare professional allows you to make an appropriate diagnosis and consider support.
Apart from these disorders, talking a lot “is often a personality trait” notes Emma Pisarz. According to her, “It’s a defense mechanism.” Against what? For some, social anxiety plays a central role: “There are people who, when they are anxious, are afraid of silence and tend to fill the void” explains the psychologist. For others, paradoxically, the flow of words “is a way to fade away, because when we are constantly in a flow of words, it prevents others from asking us questions. We are completely in control of the subject, we talk about what we want”analyzes Emma Pisarz. In both cases, silence represents a threat that must be neutralized.
People affected by severe logorrhea generally do not know it, “unless we point it out to them”. How to make it delicacy? “I think there’s no great way to tell someone they’re talking too much, but maybe just point out that they can be a little quieter sometimes. Telling them that you don’t have to comment on everything or always follow up is also good to allow time for reflection.”
For those who think they talk too much, Emma Pisarz suggests asking themselves: “What would happen if I stopped talking so much? Is there anything that scares me if I talk less?” Depending on the answers obtained and the impact on daily life, talking to a professional may prove beneficial. Because learning to live in silence also means offering others the space to exist in conversation.
