Just because it’s your “on-call week” doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want during the holidays. Nolwenn Leroux, family law lawyer, shares with us a common mistake made by separated parents, which “no one ever thinks about”.
As a couple, it is not always easy to agree on the choices for raising children. But when parents are separated or divorced, the situation can become even more complicated. Already throughout the year, shared custody can cause a number of conflicts, but certain periods can crystallize these tensions… notably the summer holidays. In addition to the petty pettiness common between ex-spouses who do not get along, there are also mistakes that many are unaware of and which could end up turning against them in front of a family court judge.
Of course, we often think of the example of the parent who would like to take their children on vacation abroad without the other’s consent. But other activities, which might seem more harmless, may also require the approval of both parents. “No one thinks about it, because parents always believe that during their custody period they do whatever they want. But it all depends on what you want to do !”explains Maître Nolwenn Leroux, lawyer specializing in family law. Indeed, in the event of joint parental authority, the parents “must be held accountable” but do not particularly need to keep the other informed of ALL the details. This is where the law distinguishes between “usual” and “non-usual” acts.
On the one hand, there are all the little everyday things, “without seriousness, which do not affect the future of the child or his fundamental rights or which are part of an uncontested previous practice”. In this case, as mentioned in article 372-2 of the Civil Code, a parent does not need the agreement of their ex. “You do not need to ask the other parent’s permission to take the children to the beach or go cycling.”specifies Me Leroux. On the other hand, for “non-usual” acts, it’s a different story. This can range from heavy medical treatment to enrollment in a private school, but also to “practicing a dangerous sport”according to the public service website. And this is one of the main mistakes separated parents make on vacation: you cannot enroll your child in an activity deemed dangerous without the permission of the other parent.
“We immediately think of things like bungee jumping, but it can also be board sports or combat sports, a canyoning outing or even a simple afternoon tree climbing! As long as there is a safety protocol to respect or the need for an accompanying person, it can be considered dangerous and a parent can object.warns the lawyer. She remembers one example in particular: “A customer offered a jet-ski ride to her stepson. Everything was supervised and the young man regularly rode a motorbike. It turns out that the mother said no because she considered it dangerous, and she called the center to report that she did not agree. In this case, they are the ones who are responsible, and they therefore canceled the outing.” In reality, the lawyer assures that this mother “would not have won the case before a judge.”because the question of “non-usual” acts is at his discretion.
Indeed, any activity can be dangerous in one way or another: you can choke on eating ice cream, drown in the swimming pool or get injured while cycling. “Dangerousness is subjective, but these everyday activities are not inherently risky. It will also depend on the child himself.recalls Nolwenn Leroux. A jet-ski ride is perhaps less risky for a teenager who rides a motorcycle than for a child who does not know how to swim, for example. Of course, if a parent goes to the family court judge for this reason alone, ““It’s going to fall by the wayside, because the justice system is already too busy to deal with each disagreement.”. On the other hand, if it is not the first time that the other parent does not respect the rules, that he or she regularly performs “unusual” acts without agreement, “he could find himself sanctioned”.
The judge could consider that he does not respect co-parenting, and decide to “to modify accommodation periods”that is to say reducing on-call times for example. He can even fix “a civil fine or prohibitions on certain activities.” In short, it is better to ensure the ex-spouse’s authorization for any potentially risky vacation activity. Or, in the event that the other does not want to respect your point of view, turn directly to the organizer to indicate your disagreement rather than “disturbing a judge in the middle of August”.
