you are fat, who will want you?” From victim to megaphone, the fight of Anne-Sophie Joly

The numbers are worrying even if no one wants to see them or pay them the attention they deserve. In France, 10 million people suffer from obesity, or almost one in seven French people. In 2030, in just four years, this same figure will be increased to 20 million French people. And contrary to what many people still think: “Obesity is not a personal choice, it is a disease” proclaims Anne-Sophie Joly, president of the CNAO (National Collective of Obese Associations). An illness with which she has lived since adolescence. She recounts her courageous fight to Journal des Femmes.

“I have obesity genetics from my father. At birth, there was already a history and a setting”explains Anne-Sophie, now 55 years old. But genetics doesn’t explain everything. No breastfeeding, then a profound trauma: the separation of her parents at four years old. “I didn’t see either father or mother from the age of 4 to 6. It was the early 70s, I was placed with my grandmother, put aside.” These injuries will resurface during adolescence. At 17, Anne-Sophie decided to follow her path, against the advice of her mother who wanted her to become a secretary. She embarked on a preparation course for Fine Arts, then eight years of study to become an interior designer specializing in historical monuments. “My mother told me: we give you a chance but if you fail your exams, you come back home.” The pressure is immense and Anne-Sophie is struggling “like a crazy person”. “Between the stress of studying and understanding what happened during my childhood, food was the antidepressant.”

“What is that? We’re not at the zoo”

Graduating at 26, Anne-Sophie comes up against the brutal reality of the working world. “She’s fat, she dresses poorly – because there are no clothes in your size – and she can’t represent an archi’s office. That’s what people said to themselves when they saw me.” She ended up joining a firm, but with clear instructions: “Stay on your drawing board and above all don’t cross paths with anyone else.” One day, she replaces a sick colleague on a construction site. The self-employed people make fun of her as soon as she arrives. “But as the visit progressed, I saw the 60-year-old guys starting to look at their feet. ‘Beneath her fat appearance, she has some under her hair,’ they said to themselves.” They end up asking for it at the following meetings, which the architect does not like. She is asking for permanent employment. His employer then reacts with vile blackmail : “If you want me to hire you, right to it. You’re fat, who will want you?” Anne-Sophie refuses and slams the door.

Tired of this environment, she joined the world of the medical press. But again, verbal violence occurs very quickly. “The boss looked at me, looked at me from head to toe and said, ‘What is that? We’re in the press, not at the zoo.” Anne-Sophie is 27 years old. She proves herself and ends up getting hired. However, the instructions are the same : “I have to stay in the office and not go to trade shows. Clients should not see me.” She gradually established herself through her skills and remained in the medical press for 18 years.

“Move the big one”: the insults continue

Today president of the CNAO, Anne-Sophie has gained professional legitimacy but the humiliations have never stopped. “It’s every day”she confides. Three years ago, on vacation in Brittany with her lawyer husband and her son, she witnessed a revolting scene. In the market, she hears a customer say to an obese caterer: “I would like a piece of bacon but not as fatty as you.” Anne-Sophie intervenes. The old man replies: “You, the big cow, I didn’t ask you for anything.” She takes out her dictaphone: “Listen, you’re going to repeat all this to me, I’m going to record it and file a complaint.” The tone rises. “The man told me “move the big one”, she says. The couple fled when threatened with a complaint. “It took me three days to lose my temper.”

Mentalities are still struggling to evolve: “Some people understood that it was not a personal choice to be obese but for others, we are the seven deadly sins, we lack intelligence, we are lazy, people who are not clean, not intelligent and that applies to all social strata and professional levels.” Thanks to the CNAO, progress has been made on obesity, “a presidential plan under Nicolas Sarkozy, the States General of Obesity under Emmanuel Macron and a food charter at Arcom”. But Anne-Sophie wants more: “I loudly and clearly demand a renewable ten-year interministerial plan, like the cancer plan.”

“When you are a tree, you are not a reed”

To all patients, she sends a clear message: “You have to accept who you are, work on your strengths and not on your weaknesses. You have to accept your weaknesses and highlight what is strongest in you and stop comparing yourself to others. When you are a tree, you are not a reed.” In terms of diet, she advises against restrictive or fashionable diets and “especially never diet alone because you will enter a spiral of weight gain. The body remembers everything.” She advocates the “dietary rebalancing” with home cooking: “As soon as you lose 5% of your weight, you reduce your comorbidities by 30%.”

Another piece of advice and not the least: get help from psychology. “There is no shame in going to see a psychologist. It will be your biggest chance. The psychologist saved me enormously. It allows you to say: this is up to me to carry, this is not up to me to carry.” It also helps you get away from bad people. “We have to clear out the toxins, proclaims Anne-Sophie. Ask yourself: “Should I do with it or not, can I do without it or not?” Get rid of the toxins and you will see, your weight will go down.” Finally, she launches an appeal to society: “Stop not wanting to see the obvious. Have kindness, have humanity. It’s easier to want to destroy someone than to stand up and help them.” And it can save a life.

Thanks to Anne-Sophie Joly, president of the CNAO (National Collective of Obese Associations). Comments collected on February 26, 2026.