«I will continue to be his mother forever, but in a different, infinite and eternal way». Thus begins the story of Silvia Raveramother of Rachele Franchelliwho died two years ago at just 16 years old from a rare tumor. To transform pain into love, Silvia founded theRachele Franchelli Association – A look without borders: «Pain is like a tsunami that devastates all the cells of the body and soul. When you lose a child it is important to have goals that continue, that keep the memory alive».
Her friends remember Rachele as an always positive girl, even during the 18 months of illness: «All sick kids are special, they know the pathology they have and undergo body transformations – reflects Silvia – However, Rachele in particular has always had a positive vision of life, it was she who gave us strength even in the most difficult moments».
Today the association Rachele Franchelli – A look without borders supports three realities: Frizzi House in Milan, where the family found hospitality during treatment at the Cancer Institute, theGaslini hospital in Genoa, another important point of reference in the disease, and a project with AVSI in favor of the girls of the village of Mulot in Kenya, already started with school friends.
Rachele attended art high school in Albenga, where she lived in the Savona area, and her class had joined a long-distance adoption project aimed at a young woman from Kenya. «He was enthusiastic about being able to support this girl in her studies and education, protecting her from a life that makes you grow up too soon, so we thought we’d continue our commitment. Today, with the association, we have adopted 15 girls and we dream of creating a “Village of Ra” right there in Kenya”, says Silvia.
Lastly, here is the commitment to give a name to the condition of those who have lost a child. «It seems unfair to me that parents who have lost a child, and there are so many of us, don’t even have a term to define themselves – continues the mother – After the Crans-Montana tragedy I thought we had to give a name to this pain, transforming mourning into dignity. We need to call things by their name. Giving a name means recognition of a condition and the possibility of shared care».
So here it is atefanoa term that “does not erase pain, but recognizes it and gives dignity to a reality that exists”. Rachele’s brother, Gastone, coined the neologism: «Atèfano derives from Greek. Born from: à- privative, té- from Greek téknon “son”, and -fano from orphanós “orphan”. The proposal defines the word as an adjective and noun: “who has lost a child or children” and “a person who has lost a child or parent mourning the death of a child”. In Silvia’s intention the new word fills a linguistic and human void, describing a bond that continues even after death: «A parent who loses a child is no longer “just” a parent, it is a different experience: love does not change but is transformed and, I repeat, it becomes infinite and eternal.”
The road for atèfano to become a neologism is still long. In order to be taken into consideration by the Accademia della Crusca or other authority it must first become a term in common use. For this reason the association promotes the spread of the word, also counting on word of mouth and its adoption by Municipalities and Regions. «Atèfano has already been adopted by Piedmont and Liguria, and by about fifteen municipalities. Another dozen local administrations have already declared their intention to do the same – concludes Silvia –. Rachele has died to carnal life but she is here with us, and I would like her to be proud of what we do».
