Chiara Pelizzoni, journalist from Famiglia Cristiana, interviews Adriano Bordignonpresident of the Forum of Family Associations, al Turin Book Fair. At the center of the conversation are the great themes that run through the lives of Italian families today: the flight of young people, the birth rate decline, work that leaves no room for care, women penalized by motherhood, the elderly without support. And the question that remains open: how do you cultivate hope when the context seems to work against you?
Let’s start with what the newspapers offer us. Alessandro Rosina comments on a tiring scenario: for those who train here, go abroad and then decide to return, he uses a very harsh word: it is not an act of courage, it is suicide.
«When he talks about suicide, he is referring not to a suicide of young people, but to a suicide of the country: a country which, despite having its youth population as its largest capital, continues undaunted on a path that does not change perspective. It is necessary to offer them the opportunity to return, and at the same time make our territory attractive also for young foreigners. There is a right that is not respected: that of growth and “remainance” and the right to give the best of oneself not only for oneself, but for the country.”
Research on Generation Z states that young people choose the “emotional salary”. What do you think?
«Younger people are looking for more humanizing work spaces: not something that exhausts their life, but a living part that integrates with personal growth and fundamental relationships. However, the data also tells us that work today is much more oppressive than in the past: it takes up more space, it is invasive also due to digital technology, and often two salaries are not enough to make ends meet. This is how the chains of care are broken: taking care of the little ones, the frail, the elderly becomes very complicated for young couples.”
In essence, the underlying question of Generation Z is: how much space remains, within work, to continue to be human?
«Work is not just a tool for remuneration: it is a tool for self-realization, for contributing to the good of humanity, for building collaboration and relationships. If we can put all this alongside income, then we are really working towards that humanization we were talking about.”
The family comes to the attention of the media only when it is a place of problems, poverty or violence.
«Everything related to the family affects every aspect of life: the family is not an economic or social sector, but every element impacts the history of families. Families that normally generate good, care and solidarity are not recognized. This is why in Italy family policies have always been made from a welfare perspective and never from a promotional and enabling perspective. If we looked at the family as a pastoral and civil subject, we could invest instead of acting in reparative terms.”
Sinner is telling us about a discreet family style. When interviewing great champions, the theme of family is explosive.
«Every boy and girl has an extraordinary potential for humanity. At the Winter Olympics, we heard many great athletes say: “I wouldn’t have gotten here without the support of my family.” And they don’t talk about money: they talk about relationships, continuity, strength in values. This must be recognized and told well. It is our semantic capital: the stratification of the family we come from, of the experiences and decisive encounters, the ones that change our lives.”
The birth rate numbers are impressive: in 1994 families with children were 47%, today they are 29%.
«Today many no longer talk only about the birth rate decline, but about “dejuvenation”, which brings together the decline in births, the aging of the population and the flight of young people abroad. Losing these young people is a completely uneconomic activity: it means losing the basis of the sustainability of the present and future. This phenomenon must be addressed not with small salads or lukewarm broths, but with powerful and decisive resources – something that we are not doing either as Italy or as Europe. The family can be a training ground for humanization, a space for building social peace in the world.”
How do we cultivate hope – the one that our young people perhaps lack most?
«Hope, in my opinion, has above all a key: it is the key to us. Hoping alone is not possible. Hope is a verb that smacks of community, relationship, network. Hope is born when you have a desire so strong that it is nourished by commitment, effort and continuity. Families must not be content to live in their own backyards: they must learn to live beyond the limits of their homes. We have to open the doors, open the windows, meet other families, meet society. Only in this way can hope be nourished.”
What does the «Family Revolution» consist of?
«It consists in changing perspective, in taking on a look at the world that does not see others as enemies, but as a great resource. If families become productive gardens, laboratories of humanization, they offer their contribution to revolutionizing a world that is increasingly depriving itself of the importance of relationships. The family can offer a style: that of us.”
79% of those interviewed believe that being a parent today is more difficult than in the past.
«Today’s parents don’t have recipes to repeat and adapt. If in the past a boy’s education could be represented by an orange, most of the segments were in the hands of the family. Today the family has less than half the orange, because we give our children tools that bring many other values and provocations into their education. If we say not to use the phone and then write at the table, we are false witnesses. The work on adults is the greatest work.”
Italy is outside the top 10 countries for maternity leave and women are often kicked out of the job market with their second or third child.
«There is the punishment of motherhood: the first child is looked at with a certain sympathy, the second already becomes a problem, the third is dramatic. It is an injustice, and it is also an unwise choice of the production system, because women bring specific skills in terms of soft skills and relationships. The male world must do its part: leave and harmonization policies must be integrated with an equal assumption of responsibility by men in sharing care tasks.”
We are the oldest country in Europe and the care work falls on the so-called “crushed” women.
«If the carer goes into crisis, the cared for, the person themselves and the entire family network suffer. Adequate support and financial recognition is needed. The INPS data tell us that we often work in gray or black forms, with injustice towards workers and families, pushed towards illegality. Adequate remuneration should be found, otherwise caring for the elderly is not a right but a privilege.”
A final reflection on the boys’ desire for a family.
«Between the ages of 11 and 19, kids want a family. The problem is that after the age of 19, when they encounter precariousness, the lack of references and the hardships of society, that desire does not become hope and does not translate into a child. We have a duty on this – as families, as institutions, as a society – to work together.”
