There are just a few weeks left until the final exam and for around 500 thousand Italian students not only the final high school exam is approaching, but also one of the first big decisions regarding the future. After years marked by tests, tasks and questions, more complex questions arise: what to do after graduation? Continue your studies? Which course to choose? And, again, stay in your city or move elsewhere? The president of the CCUM (Conference of University Colleges of Merit) Elisa Valerianirecalls how the university choice takes place in a phase in which self-knowledge is still under construction. It is no coincidence that many students change direction during the academic years or interrupt the path already in the first year. For this reason, orienting yourself does not mean immediately finding a definitive answer, but starting a journey of listening, growth and discovery.
And the questions rarely concern only boys. Choosing university often involves the entire family, with expectations, fears and the desire to offer the right advice. The CCUM, which represents these realities at a national and international level, identified seven indications aimed at parents to accompany their sons and daughters in this delicate passage. The challenge, in fact, is not to decide for them, but to help them recognize aptitudes, interests and possibilities.
Here are the useful indications for ragsazzi and their parents:
Don’t refer to your own experience
The involvement of parents in the university orientation process represents a precious resource, which however risks proving to be limiting if based exclusively on personal experience. The contemporary academic system is rapidly and profoundly evolving – in its educational offerings, teaching methodologies and employment opportunities – making an informed and updated approach to the specificities of the current context indispensable.
Don’t influence your children’s choices with stereotypes
A further critical element concerns the tendency, often unconscious, to attribute a different value to different study paths, effectively conditioning children’s choices through generational stereotypes or gender-related prejudices. Effective orientation instead requires an open dialogue free of preconceptions, capable of enhancing the individual inclinations and potential of each student.
Don’t just look at the economic question
“Sending a child to university” is an investment that can be very demanding for a family, even more so if the choice involves moving to another city. However, there are tools that support families, such as benefits and scholarships, which is why it is essential to be well informed, to ensure that these aspects do not hinder deserving students and do not generate friction and worries in the family.
Don’t be fooled by today’s job market
If once the professional outlet and the career path were more linear with respect to one’s academic qualification, today, except for a few cases, it is not even possible to imagine what the professional skills required will be in 3 or 5 years. Think about the impact of new technologies, which on the one hand seek out profiles that do not yet exist and on the other enhance humanistic skills in technological contexts.
Rely on third parties
Your point of view may not be exhaustive. Recognizing this is the first step towards a healthy discussion. Evaluating the involvement of third parties, even within the family circle, can be a useful way to broaden perspectives and strengthen choice.
Comparison yes, not competitive
Comparison with peers often represents a precious driver in the development of talent: observing the paths of others, recognizing their differences and measuring one’s own inclinations in a collective context can stimulate awareness and motivation. For this comparison to be constructive, however, it is essential that it takes place in a climate of mutual recognition, in which the value of the individual is not measured in competitive terms, but as an expression of a unique potential to be oriented and valorised. The role of parents is to encourage this open gaze, accompanying their children in exploration – even through others – without transforming comparison into pressure.
Be ready to see them go
The university path often involves moving to another city or even experiences abroad, such as Erasmus, which mark a moment of strong growth and autonomy from the family of origin. Empty nest syndrome is a painful transition for parents, but being able to manage it without making it burdensome to their children is a gesture of responsibility and love that allows them to experience this phase with serenity and trust.
